Remembering kindness

It is coming up on a year that Phyllis left us. I have had such a hard time dealing with the loss because I don't think I have fully absorbed the loss. No massive shedding of tears, no weeping like I usually do.

Maybe because it was such a long, painful process to watch her suffer I was sad she was leaving but not sad to see the suffering end.

Phyllis was really hard to watch. I was over there a lot helping out. The indignities she had to face were humiliating to a woman who had always been so private and dignified. She was the nicest woman I knew. She was married to a man for a long time who was the meanest man I ever knew. She raised her kids by herself and they all turned out to be very nice adults.

But the end of the story is sad. A long painful death. Thankfully her suffering was ended and I got to say "I love you." She could and did say the same to me.

Many times she told me she felt so safe because I was there with her which seemed odd to me. She was the parent, I had always felt safe with her and the other neighborhood parents. Well not all of them but that is a different story.

I am still floundering for words. Maybe the pain is too deep and I still can't get to the real feelings. So I will just say the truth.

I loved Phyllis Nirva. She was a kind soul who loved her family and friends in a joyful, unique way that made us all feel really special and really loved. Thank you so much.

I hope you are enjoying your time now with Frank Sinatra, Bill Walsh and now Freddie Solomon. I miss you, we all miss you but I am glad you are not suffering any more.